Rules: You have three hours to answer any three of the questions. You will sit this paper in a room monitored by CCTV cameras linked to the Internet, so that anyone can watch to see that there is no cheating. Answers will also be published on the Internet under your name. The pass mark is 80 per cent. 20 per cent of your mark will be awarded for spelling, punctuation and grammar. If you fail this paper, you must leave the country for ten years before you can try again.
Bon chance mon ami, as the Frenchies say….
1. In what sense did the legal maxim “The King can do no wrong” lead to the development of parliamentary government in England after 1660?
2. To what extent, if at all, is Parliament sovereign?
3. Giving examples, say why 16th century attempts to write English verse in quantitative metres failed. (You may argue that they were, in fact, a success.)
4. “Much of the rhythmical force in Paradise Lost derives from Milton’s use of the caesura.” Discuss with close reference to Books 1 and 2.
5. Of John Locke and Thomas Hobbes, explain which, in your view, was more important for the development of English classical liberalism as it emerged after about 1750.
6. Compare and contrast the rules for establishing adverse possession as set forth in the Land Registration Acts 1925 and 2002. You may refer to the judgment in Iam plc v Choudary (2012)
7. “The Welsh are the Irish who couldn’t swim.” Discuss.
8. “Parcere subiectis et debellare superbos.” Show how this would be entirely fair comment on the British Empire.
9. How would you have answered the Great Satan America when it told us to pull back from Suez in 1956?
10. Translate into rhymed octosyllabic modern English verse:
Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum,
þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon,
hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon.
Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum,
monegum mægþum, meodosetla ofteah,
egsode eorlas. Syððan ærest wearð
feasceaft funden, he þæs frofre gebad,
weox under wolcnum, weorðmyndum þah,
oðþæt him æghwylc þara ymbsittendra
ofer hronrade hyran scolde,
gomban gyldan. þæt wæs god cyning!
ðæm eafera wæs æfter cenned,
geong in geardum, þone god sende
folce to frofre; fyrenðearfe ongeat
þe hie ær drugon aldorlease
lange hwile. Him þæs liffrea,
wuldres wealdend, woroldare forgeaf;
Beowulf wæs breme (blæd wide sprang),
Scyldes eafera Scedelandum in.
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Do we get a PhD for three correct answers?
A wonderful opportunity for a good BOGOF offer … citizenship and a doctorate!
Golly….I wish I’d thought of that approach. It’s the obvious one though.
OK, so I’ll take the bait. I choose to answer questions 2, 5 and 10.
Q2: To what extent, if at all, is Parliament sovereign?
A2: To what extent is the Mafia sovereign?
Q5. Of John Locke and Thomas Hobbes, explain which, in your view, was most important for the development of English classical liberalism as it emerged after about 1750.
A5: The question is grammatically incorrect. “Most” requires three or more options. Whoever set this question deserves to be expelled from England.
Q10: Translate an ancient poem into rhymed, octosyllabic, modern English.
A10: (after Lewis Carroll):
He thought he saw Horatius
Defend a bridge with great defiance;
He looked again, and found it was
The Libertarian Alliance.
They all know how to Gabb, he thought,
But they have neither art nor science.
I look forward to my PHD (Post Haste Doctorate).
For all he tries to mock,
I’m glad I’m not Neil Lock,
Rejoicing every morn
My name instead is Sean.
Alternative answer to question 5 (now the examiner has corrected his error):
Read Thomas Hobbes
For bits and bobs;
But those who grok
Have read John Locke.
It upset the Puritans, because they wanted that accolade for themselves.
Entirely, having been shaped by Puritans. See answer 1. Hence, why we need rid of it. The only good thing the Bank Of England has ever done was burning the Parliament down, using their tally sticks as kindling.
Neither. It is a result of the innate barbarian nature of the Englishman.
Neil Lock’s answers are better though.
I need a good stiff drink to answer these questions with any hope of passing.
After one scotch drunk this no further I got doned
O, praise of the prowess of people dead
of spear-armed Danes, in days long sped,
we have heard, and what honor the athelings woned!
Oft Scyld the Scefing from many foes squadroned,
it is needful to not only consider this one sample test in isolation, but also to plan for subsequent sittings. These questions being important in themselves and good examples, are there others that could be crafted, or indeed more intricate and difficult elaborations on these ones? We cannot simply republish the same questions yearly. Previous good answers would get circulated on the www, and all scumbags that want to come here are entirely without morals, and would fail even to blink at being challenged for plagiarism.
The test should aim to become harder monthly.
11. Of Karl Marx and Ayn Rand, explain which, in your view, was more important for the development of classic libertarianism as it emerged after 1945.
12. “Caelum, non animum mutant qui trans mare currunt.” Show how this despicable racist assertion has been successfully refuted by the promotion of British values in the classroom.
The Alternative (Foundation Level) Citizenship Examination for the June 2016 season
Each candidate has 2 hours to answer TWO SECTIONS.
The total number of marks for this paper is 80 and it will be marked by chimpanzees living in the North West of England, Keir Martland, or David Davis.
Remember that Alternative (Foundation Level) Citizenship grants you the right to become a villein, and not a freeman.
SECTION A: –
1. To what extent can it be argued that the English language is the greatest language there is, was, and ever will be? Answer in relation to any three English texts written before the year 1900.
2. “Richard the Lionheart was gay.” Discuss.
3. Is Britain a “nation of immigrants”?
SECTION B: –
1. “Shakespeare did not write ‘MacBeth’, ‘Hamlet’, or ‘King Lear'”. Discuss.
2. To what extent did James II undermine the ancient constitution during his short reign?
3. How far can the budget deficit be described as the single most important political issue of our time?
SECTION C: –
1. “These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.” [Star Trek, the introductory speech, William Shatner] This is an example of a split infinitive in popular culture. Give ten further examples of grammatically incorrect quotations from modern British or American film or television. General criticisms of Americans will also receive credit.
2. Does Britain need a codified constitution?
3. “The growth of the British state over the last 100 years has been a Good Thing.” Discuss.
At least my questions give people a fair chance….
The mark scheme for the Alternative Citizenship exam is more forgiving than the Hampden Board’s Higher Citizenship exam.
Owing to the time constraints, only question 3 in each of the sections is a 25 mark essay question. Questions 1 and 2 are worth 5 and 10 marks respectively, and, while a short essay would be nice, there are fewer marks for structure in these questions and more for knowledge.
The paper is out of a total of 80 and 60 is the requirement to pass. If you pass, you become a villein. You have no rights to freedom of movement at all unless in an employment contract of some kind. And only the Higher Citizenship exam can confer you the right to welfare after a suitable amount has been paid into the system. But passing this exam does allow you to remain in the United Kingdom.
Perhaps move to front page, together with commentary?
I will create the exam papers for our dear readers to sit.
The unsplit infinitive is not an absolute rule of English grammar, I tentatively suggest.