Howard R Gray (from comments on here.)

In the Usambara Mountains in the northeast of the Tanzania there is a small shack next to huge building covered in makuti thatch. There is a horrendous noise of keyboards clattering away with undying creativity. On entry to the facility you will see thousands and thousands of baboons hard at work revising Shakespeare for our Farsi readership. The head simian assures us that the latest euro forecasts are not good, it just come over the wire that our deadly competitors, the handy chimpanzees in Zimbabwe are ahead of us on their predictions for European disaster. This particular bunch of chimps, after entertaining one Jane Goodall for many years decided that now she has a PhD, it would be a good idea if some of them went south for commercial reasons to Zimbabwe, regrettably it turned out that human beings in that state had completely and utterly lost their senses and divested their currency of any monetary value whatsoever. This has long been understood in simian circles that both white and black varieties of human beings were involved in the independence negotiations leading to a government incapable of understanding why hyperinflation happens.

We had of course heard from our cousins in the Berlin Zoo that the Germans had previously engineered a similar debacle way back in the 1920s and the amazing thing is how so little those self-important human economists and leftists managed to learn. It was thought that too much beer and sausages was perhaps the underlying cause, though that theory was never proven.

One of the great details in the life of baboons is their undying commitment to accurate grammatical differences about the nuances of middle English, besides that talent, they have a deep reservoir of commercial intelligence about the euro, so much so that they are given to use four words, the first one being “get” the second one being the definite article “the” and the third being something about going forth and multiplying in Anglo-Saxon then followed by “out”. This is the simian message about the euro. You heard it here. The head simian was asked what should we do, Bitcoin.com was scrawled on a piece of paper and thrust towards us. At that point we were shown the door and given a bag of bananas and told to enjoy our flight back to civilization at the Regent’s Park zoo.