by D.J. Webb
1. Privatise the whole education system
2. All teachers’ salaries set by the schools
3. A voucher system instituted allowing parents choice, but the vouchers set at a level that does not cover the full cost of education (e.g. requiring a top-up co-payment averaging 10% of the cost of attending an unglamorous school from the parents, and much larger top-ups to attend better schools). Unmarried mothers with five children would still have to find a certain sum for their children’s education.
4. Education no longer compulsory: those who can’t afford to send their children to school can just keep them at home. No checks on home-schooling.
5. Schools banned from monitoring children’s weights, and also banned from monitoring the content of lunch-boxes.
6. Parents entitled to sue the school for lack of discipline in schools (unruly pupil behaviour, pupils allowed to text messages on mobile phones during class, etc). No insurance can be taken out by the schools to cover this—that would only push up the cost of education, while insulating the teachers from accountability—offending teachers would be sacked without a character.
7. Sex education in schools liable to lead to a paedophilia investigation of the teachers.
8. Children who become pregnant, no matter how young, see their school-days automatically terminated.
9. All schools single-sex.
10. All schools required to have decent uniforms. Parents could sue the schools based on the lack of appropriate policy in this regard.
11. The teaching of multi-culturalism and racial hysteria made illegal. Parents can sue where such abuses are found and have the teachers sacked.
12. Islamic schools and other schools exclusively for immigrants closed down. A Christian ethos required by law in all schools. Those who don’t approve can home-school their children.
13. All schools become selective.
14. A 16+ baccalaureate introduced, marked out of 1,000 on the basis of 100 marks for 10 subjects. Children only entered for five subjects can gain a maximum of 500 marks, but then cannot proceed to further education. The 10 subjects must include English Language, English Literature, Maths, Latin and a modern language. Schools that don’t teach Latin can only enter children for 9 subjects, restricting their maximum mark to 900. An IQ test is taken along with the 16+ and the result included in the mark thus: 800/100, for a pupil with an 80% rate in this 16+ and an IQ of 100; 400/90 for a subnormal child. The 16+ would be expected to produce a sharp differentiation in results. If more than 5% of children scored over 900 in any year, an investigation of the exam boards would result. No coursework is included, and no late summer retakes are undertaken. Children who fail their exams can study for a further year at FE college and try the whole baccalaureate again.
15. All children are taught good English. Bad spelling and bad grammar produce a large drop in marks in all subjects. Incorrect use of the subjunctive, use of Americanisms, use of slang and text-speak all have serious consequences in terms of marks. English literature requires the knowledge of several Shakespeare plays and several Victorian works. There is no national curriculum, but the exam syllabus is so heavy that schools have to teach good material, as there is little room for “modern lesbian fiction” and the like on the school timetable.
16. A mark of 700 required to proceed to further education, with the 18+ similarly rigorous.
17. No young person without a good result in the 18+ is allowed to apply for university. There are no access courses designed to get round this.
18. All former polytechnics are closed down. Pupil numbers at university are controlled to below 20% of the population. Courses are required to teach, in the main, British students. All funding of university stops: parents can arrange their own funding.
19. All education colleges are closed down and the B.Ed. degree at university discontinued.
